Loving my body whole and nude by Artist Karen Colville

 Loving my body whole and nude by Artist Karen Colville 

My dream since childhood was to be a Visual Artist and I have been living this dream out for over a decade, I see beauty in nature. I started viewing myself as a whole natural person and I do not fit the status quo yet again.

 I had to do a lot of side gigs to even create , market, sell any art. A lot of my art was used for humane purposes and human causes over the years, where I did not even make any money, the money went to helping the person or organization in need . Being and staying in the arts, has challenges. Nudity can be productive and full of purpose to wholeness with body image, healing and self love, the entire person.

My nude work or semi nude , viewed as art, is published as part of my artistic journey in various stages of life, an art form as body acceptance and expression along with my attempts to model and for self expression in the arts. I wanted to enjoy taking off my clothes. Seeing myself as an adult as a sexual whole woman than a person living with health challenges or the stigma of disability by abled society, a whole and a sexual woman, person. She/ Her. I did not ever want to feel pressured or exploited in any way. Understanding that there are people that have psychological issues when it comes to viewing a human body in a sexual or non sexual manner. 

Abused people sexually abused, their intimacy can involve abuse, some not all, tend to abuse others some may not realize it and some have sex addiction issues, some are never treated. Some of these people become victims to human exploit by the dark and abusive sides of the sex industry and there is also sexual abuse that can happen in religious institutions. People that abuse their power sexually as leverage over others.

There is an important aspect to viewing my own body through out the years as having a healthy body image, I can be in a healthy and loving relationship that my partner loves me and my body for however long that is meant to be . What we view as beautiful and what is hideous and what we survive in our bodies. The trauma and healing we carry in our bodies.

 I have also experienced health issues and loving my body to wholeness, the way that God or a Supreme being. had a plan for me to be in a loving union. I also see Men’s bodies as beautiful works of art, in all shapes, muscles and sizes. For some cultures, nudity is not a big deal while others is not accepted at all. I always felt society itself, is the ones with the problems. People have some interesting and messed up standards toward love and acceptance. Is it any wonder people sell their bodies, body image and have emotional challenges that go along with it. We also deal with vast cultural differences ,when it comes to morality and mass immigration.

 Women pay vast amounts of money to alter their face, lips, for fake boobs to feel good about themselves as body acceptance, for better sex and for financial support and renumeration. Some even go to have bum implants. All of this cosmetic approach needs to be counter altered due to leaks and long term inner body damages . Some Women have their vagina labia changed by way of surgery . My big chest is something given to me by my DNA. I have my parents and ancestors to thank. I have always had a Curvy figure, up and down in weight, trying to keep a healthy for me standard is not easy, societal standards, medical standards of beauty are gradual changes of self acceptance and acceptance by others. Breast health is also important to wholeness.

 Since Only Fans, Instagram and other social media platforms social status and looks, couples can make porn at home or in home studios, Women have control over content they produce with a pay wall, bodies as images are for sale as content, more and more people are altering their appearances by cosmetic adjustments.

 I did my best to be a modest person, I always stayed within boundaries, of my own comfort level and to envision myself as a respectful and deserving person worthy of love and some decent measure of social status, all that is coming out in recent years of young Women with the courage to come forward for their experience as being sexually abused in arts and entertainment, public exposed figures , the nameless people who profit from human exploit, Jeff Epstein and Andrew the former Prince, who was sexually abused as a child in elite circles, what ever his name is now, Ghislaine Maxwell for child abuse and trafficking rings victims.

I had a few close calls in my experience for simply having a nice figure, even when modest. I could have been swept away in those industries as a young person, trying to make a living and being damaged for life, the toll on the mind and body, by these predators for social status in exchange for sexual abuse, so with having little money or fame in the long run was in retrospect better, instead of abuse by sex addicts, traffickers, people are powerful in positions of society, as used and abused and disposed of as regarded as nothing, being a natural person since Co Vid, was almost completely out of synch with the new norm is pretty messed up when it comes to values. It is almost with the plandemic that a quarter of the planet is placed or willingly in the sex trade for social acceptance online by these companies, as a monetary need to pay the bills and to support families and with societal changes of sexuality and how we view ourselves with healthy and non healthy attitudes toward aging and body health including our sexuality. Human evolution to Trans humanism. This includes all aspects of human life to Trans beings. Hetero sexual , Homo LGBTQ, Differently abled all persons of society in countries and in the world with a global perspective.

I was a bit upset when I discovered the social status of support while young women were making into the millions of dollars selling their young images online and entering into the sex trade as a rite of passage, and many of them are cosmetically altered, others into a few hundred dollars a month for adult content for sale online from the start of the pandemic to present day. While my name was associated at this time was everywhere, mainstream media, this was as a harmful offense of defamation by society, losses of freedom of speech, even my young niece said it one time, this was intended to be hurtful, kids were also being groomed by the elites, infiltration at all levels of Government and society it was always by a unelected form of global governance shaping policies and laws as used in a derogatory manner constant and still is on the internet, by people in polite, conversation or with ageism another form of online abuse and people who hurt one another online, negative comments and trolls .

 I kept to making paintings, participating in causes and community arts with health and I kept social media to a minimum. I was glad not to have discovered sites as Only Fans, in the early years it has beneficial and bad connotations. I did not want my self image to be used with defamation and in a derogatory manner either.

 I stayed within my own city for my own form of protection, instead of being subject to be vulnerable with abuse from people online. There will always be decent people and people whom are corrupt and cringe worthy online predators, predators in the dark web, and people who will always be untouchable that have ways to be power brokers on this planet. 

I know I have been a good human being in my life and kind to others, not the stereotype as associated with my name. It takes the focus off the real abusers, does it not?

I wanted to be a loving wife and even a Mother at one point in my life. I also dated men who were not prepared in any way for family life together. Some days, I think society can be really messed up, it can mess a person up, it is how we perceive the world as our world view and culture that shapes our perceptions about our images, societal standards and self acceptance. Ever since technology has come into play, it includes and excludes people.

Ask yourself, can you love yourself as a whole person without technology, internet social media for approval or non approval when it comes to our privacy, loving and accepting ourselves as whole people? Companies use our data for their own gain. A company with a multitude of investments, the dark web, or even organized crime, scammers, low down dirty pornographers, wanting our data, wanting a piece of your image with attempts to get rich, through exploitation to profit. There are very serious issues going on here. Sometimes it all seems insane, the world at present.

There are also people that deal with serious adjustments when their bodies have become ill and to adjust to prosthetics post surgery. Healthy and whole body image is important to recovery. There are people that also are required to go through a healing process with the risks of cosmetic surgery.

 Can women be viewed as being beautiful nude without being treated in a negative sexual light as degraded or heal psychological past traumas . I was in music, an independent artist with a bit of recognition, I could leave the industry when ever I wanted as I did not have millions invested in me or sign any contracts and I was around Photographers constant working with bands and sometimes taking photos of Musicians myself. I had a wholesome innocent look, in my teens, twenties, thirties. I was tempted as a young person to pose for Men’s magazines, I thought the Women were sexy and very beautiful with the make up and lighting. Today, there is an audience for everything. 

I was told by many people over the years, I would make a great model, there was one in particular that featured women with big chested boobs and once accepted there was no turning back. I went to a Play Boy audition in Vancouver at the start of the 2000’s, my boyfriend was against me going, I went anyway with out him. I felt an internal struggle, I was in front of the Photographer in a sports bra. I found I had issues around nudity and porn, I experienced what I called in my early 20/s porn abuse, by a boyfriend who watched porn at work and would slut shame in the bedroom and say abusive things while intimate, this was messed up. I did not take my bra off during the Play Boy session my boyfriend kept saying that Hefner is a Pornographer . I was welcome to stay at the Play boy party.

 I remember how nervous I was taking pics of myself for model agencies and for adult content magazines. I was 16, in front of a European Photographer, from Hungary. His Father claimed he was a Professional Photographer working with models from all over the world. We used most of my wardrobe and because I was a minor, they did not ask me to pose in bikinis or take off my clothes. My photos were seen by a Movie TV agent and I was casted for small roles. I later became a Photographer’s model working with professional Photographers in a number of artistic and creative photo shoots.

I was rejected, I did not have that seductive look that they were looking for. I had problems with accepting pornography because of it’s associations to the people who controlled the industry and there was also human trafficking going on.

I have always throughout studying art history the human body is created as beautiful. It is not easy to come to terms with our bodies, society and media always finds flaws in the quest for human perfection.

There are so many millions of people making money of their nudes images and doing porn online as a brand, and deciding what content is being produced.

Some of my art is for social justice, body positivity, healthy body image and feeling sexy as a sexual being, disabled bodies as being beautiful and sexy as able bodied people. Religious beliefs are systems of faith and practices through which humans relate to the sacred, divine, or ultimate reality, shaping moral conduct, rituals, and worldviews. Nudity and sexuality have always been reserved for married couples. Some Women have experienced religions oppression and posing nude liberated them to the point of giving the Catholic church the finger. There is always a dark side to these types of industries as a career.

Young people’s bodies have always been viewed as beautiful. Aging bodies are viewed as unpleasant as not a sexual turn on and to why there are so many industries that profit off our own insecurities, plastic is profit. Plastic is also not perfection. Different people have different preferences.

The main stream media as the Movie industry, the sudden death of Director Stanley Kubrick, why this movie was so symbolic in it’s time, as sex trafficking was not only a part of the USA economy, it was part of the global economy of human trafficking, has also been affixed to pedo files preying on children behind the scenes. More and more information is coming out on the sexual abuse of children and why there are predators in positions of power. Hidden in plain sight.

There are deep psychological stigmas to nudity, some people have experienced abuse to their bodies from perverts, predators, partners , step parents that viewed their partners as sex objects rather than sharing a loving relationship. Some people while they were young in their teen years, some even as children, it can be a contributing factor to why some people do not have a connection to love their body in the event they have experienced physical and emotional trauma at one point in their lives.

I appreciate the human body as a beautiful art form, My point of view is classic. My point of view is educated and well researched. I was exposed to nude models in art school and nudity throughout the evolution of humanity and in art history.